I don't really remember where I got them from but I did see them on some website which had listed a few hundred of them and I kept my most favourite ones ..
- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
- Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
- Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
- Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
- Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.