Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Ultimate oneliners

I just got back from a trip to Goa and I'm too exhausted to write a decent post. So I'm going just pull out an old collection of jokes and onliners stashed somewhere on my hard drive and post them here.
I don't really remember where I got them from but I did see them on some website which had listed a few hundred of them and I kept my most favourite ones ..

  • Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
  • Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
  • Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  • Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
  • The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  • I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  • Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
  • Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.